The Lone Ranger and his faithful Indian friend Tonto were riding their horses across a hilly region out west. Suddenly, hundreds of angry Indians appeared on the hill ahead of them. Looking to the left and right, the Lone Ranger saw hundreds of Indians rapidly charging down the hills towards them. Looking back in the direction they had come from the Lone Ranger saw more Indians rapidly approaching and screaming their war chants. The Lone Ranger looked towards his companion and said, "Well, Tonto. It looks like this is the end. We're going to die!" Tonto looks at the Lone Ranger and says, "What you mean, "we", paleface?"
Richard - Current bikes: 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2011 Royal Enfield Bullet 500 Classic, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2020 KTM 390 Duke, 2002 Yamaha FZ1 (FZS1000N) and a 1978 Honda Kick 'N Go Senior.
The Lone Ranger and his faithful Indian friend Tonto were riding their horses across a hilly region out west. Suddenly, hundreds of angry Indians appeared on the hill ahead of them. Looking to the left and right, the Lone Ranger saw hundreds of Indians rapidly charging down the hills towards them. Looking back in the direction they had come from the Lone Ranger saw more Indians rapidly approaching and screaming their war chants. The Lone Ranger looked towards his companion and said, "Well, Tonto. It looks like this is the end. We're going to die!" Tonto looks at the Lone Ranger and says, "What you mean, "we", paleface?"
Richard, I thought this was the 'worst joke' thread, not the 'oldest joke' thread!!!!!
As of Mon, 1st Feb 2016- ;
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, Today is a gift (that's why it's called "the present")
#1 tip I ride by: Ride as though you're invisible, not invincible
Bikes so far: Honda CB250-Traded, Suzuki GS500F-Traded, '07 F800ST Matt Graphitan-Deceased, '10 F800ST Night Blue-sold, at present bikeless
A guy is driving in rural Alabama and he sees a sign in front of a tired
Old house with lots of deferred maintenance: 'Talking Dog for Sale'.
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You Talk?' he asks.'Yep,' the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your
Story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.
I wanted to help the government, so... I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting
From country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one
Figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I
Decided to settle down. I signed up for a
Job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.
I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he lies more than Trump or Clinton; He's never been out of the back yard'.
A different slant on an old joke
"I was cut out to be a genius. Unfortunately somebody forgot to put the pieces together"
Tubby Clayton - Toc H founder
Richard, I thought this was the 'worst joke' thread, not the 'oldest joke' thread!!!!!
I'll have you know that was the newest joke on the Royal Enfield forum.
Richard - Current bikes: 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2011 Royal Enfield Bullet 500 Classic, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2020 KTM 390 Duke, 2002 Yamaha FZ1 (FZS1000N) and a 1978 Honda Kick 'N Go Senior.
There was an Englishman, Scotsman and an Irishman.
The Englishman says, I am the man
The Scotsman says, Och no yea ain't laddie, I am definatley the Man.
The Irishman says, but I am the daddy
Please note, the thoughts and opinions of Flook does not necessarily reflect the thoughts and opinions of other posts & site users therein
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student says: "No, I don't think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class." Since they couldn't agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him, "We're medical students and couldn't help but notice the way you walk, but we couldn't agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said, "I'll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think." The first student said, "I think it's Peltry Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." The other student said, "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said, "You thought - but you are wrong." So they asked him, "Well, old timer, what do you have?"
The old man said, "I thought it was GAS - but I was wrong, too!"
Richard - Current bikes: 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2011 Royal Enfield Bullet 500 Classic, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2020 KTM 390 Duke, 2002 Yamaha FZ1 (FZS1000N) and a 1978 Honda Kick 'N Go Senior.
Daffy Duck calls the front desk at a hotel and asks for a condom to be delivered to his room. The clerk asks "Shall I put that on your bill?" Daffy says "Are you thucking thupid? I'll thuffocate"
2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st
Yossel Zelkovitz worked in a Jewish pickle factory.
For many years he had a powerful desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer.
Unable to stand it any longer, he sought professional help from the factory psychologist. After six months, the therapist gave up.
He advised Yossel to go ahead and do it or he would probably never have any peace of mind.
The next day he came home from work very early.
His wife, Sacha, became alarmed and wanted to know what had happened.
Yossel tearfully confessed his tormenting desire to put his penis in the pickle slicer. He went on to explain that today he finally went ahead and did it, and he was immediately fired.
Sacha gasped and ran over to her husband. She quickly yanked down his pants and shorts only to find a normal, completely intact penis.
She looked up and said, "I don't understand. What about the pickle slicer?"
Yossel replied, "I think she got fired, too."
Please note, the thoughts and opinions of Flook does not necessarily reflect the thoughts and opinions of other posts & site users therein
Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight, live longer than the men who mention it.
Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y? Ohhhh yeahhhh. LOL.
America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.
You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's your common sense leaving your body.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she's been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Strong people don't put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.
I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.
Money talks ...but all mine ever says is good-bye.
I'm not fat, just... easier to see.
If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Please note, the thoughts and opinions of Flook does not necessarily reflect the thoughts and opinions of other posts & site users therein
oxytotl liked this post
Originally Posted by Richard230
The Lone Ranger and his faithful Indian friend Tonto were riding their horses across a hilly region out west. Suddenly, hundreds of angry Indians appeared on the hill ahead of them. Looking to the left and right, the Lone Ranger saw hundreds of Indians rapidly charging down the hills towards them. Looking back in the direction they had come from the Lone Ranger saw more Indians rapidly approaching and screaming their war chants. The Lone Ranger looked towards his companion and said, "Well, Tonto. It looks like this is the end. We're going to die!" Tonto looks at the Lone Ranger and says, "What you mean, "we", paleface?"
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