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  1. #25851
    Richard230's Avatar
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    A farmer was plowing his field on a hot, humid August day. His old mule began sweating, then staggering. At the end of the row, she dies by the road. The farmer was beside himself. 10 acres left to plow and no mule.

    Along comes an old, beat-up pickup truck. It stops, a ragged-looking grifter jumps out and surveys the situation. "How much for the mule?" he says.

    The farmer says "That mule's dead. What do you want with a dead mule?"

    The grifter says "You never mind about that. How about $20 and help me load the up the mule?"

    The farmer thinks it over. $20 would be big step towards a new mule. "OK" he says. They load up the mule, the money changes hands and the grifter drives off with 4 legs sticking out of his truck bed.

    A month passes. The farmer has a new mule and has it out cultivating the new crop. As he nears the road, a new pickup drives up and stops at the end of the row. The driver gets out - it's the grifter that bought the dead mule, except now in fancy new clothes.

    The farmer says “Looks like you're doing all right for yourself. What happened to that mule I sold you?”

    Grifter: “I raffled him off. 1000 tickets at a dollar a pop.”

    Farmer: “You can’t raffle off a dead mule! Wouldn't someone get awful mad?”

    Grifter: “He sure was until I gave him his money back.”
    Richard - Current bikes: 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2011 Royal Enfield Bullet 500 Classic, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2020 KTM 390 Duke, 2002 Yamaha FZ1 (FZS1000N) and a 1978 Honda Kick 'N Go Senior. 

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  3. #25852
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '13 F800GT
    ,
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  5. #25853
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    ,
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

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ID:	368587  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  8. #25854
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    ,
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Views:	12 
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ID:	368601  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  10. #25855
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    .
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Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	11 
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ID:	368623  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  12. #25856
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    .
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  14. #25857
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    Ouch
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  16. #25858
    Richard230's Avatar
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    Yesterday I received a bunch of unnamed (which have remained unnamed) cartoons directed at us older folks - that would be just about everyone owning a BMW motorcycle. And here they are.
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    Richard - Current bikes: 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2011 Royal Enfield Bullet 500 Classic, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2020 KTM 390 Duke, 2002 Yamaha FZ1 (FZS1000N) and a 1978 Honda Kick 'N Go Senior. 

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  18. #25859
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    Real Name
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    Motorcycle
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    You're singing the song, aren't you?
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

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ID:	368695  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  20. #25860
    steve n rose's Avatar
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    Real Name
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    Motorcycle
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    Motorcycle
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    Quote Originally Posted by Richard230 View Post
    Yesterday I received a bunch of unnamed (which have remained unnamed) cartoons directed at us older folks - that would be just about everyone owning a BMW motorcycle. And here they are.
    That last one is so true.
    As of Mon, 1st Feb 2016- ;
    Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery,
    Today is a gift (that's why it's called "the present")
    #1 tip I ride by: Ride as though you're invisible, not invincible
    Bikes so far: Honda CB250-Traded, Suzuki GS500F-Traded, '07 F800ST Matt Graphitan-Deceased, '10 F800ST Night Blue-sold, at present bikeless 

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  22. #25861
    steve n rose's Avatar
    Points: 65,090, Level: 100

    Real Name
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    Quote Originally Posted by WildWilly View Post
    You're singing the song, aren't you?
    Just don't post a picture of a parakeet's cage
    As of Mon, 1st Feb 2016- ;
    Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery,
    Today is a gift (that's why it's called "the present")
    #1 tip I ride by: Ride as though you're invisible, not invincible
    Bikes so far: Honda CB250-Traded, Suzuki GS500F-Traded, '07 F800ST Matt Graphitan-Deceased, '10 F800ST Night Blue-sold, at present bikeless 

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  24. #25862
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    Real Name
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    I know this will sound sexist, but I wonder what angered her.
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  26. #25863
    steve n rose's Avatar
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    Real Name
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    Motorcycle
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    Motorcycle
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    He told her to take her pick, but forgot to say not to his car.
    As of Mon, 1st Feb 2016- ;
    Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery,
    Today is a gift (that's why it's called "the present")
    #1 tip I ride by: Ride as though you're invisible, not invincible
    Bikes so far: Honda CB250-Traded, Suzuki GS500F-Traded, '07 F800ST Matt Graphitan-Deceased, '10 F800ST Night Blue-sold, at present bikeless 

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  28. #25864
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    She said something and he replied "Picky Picky"
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  30. #25865
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    Motorcycle
    '13 F800GT
    What do you call it when you feed dynamite to a steer? Abominable.
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  32. #25866
    steve n rose's Avatar
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    Motorcycle
    '10 F800ST
    Motorcycle
    '07 F800ST
    Hear about the woman that sat on explosives?

    Disaster!
    As of Mon, 1st Feb 2016- ;
    Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery,
    Today is a gift (that's why it's called "the present")
    #1 tip I ride by: Ride as though you're invisible, not invincible
    Bikes so far: Honda CB250-Traded, Suzuki GS500F-Traded, '07 F800ST Matt Graphitan-Deceased, '10 F800ST Night Blue-sold, at present bikeless 

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  34. #25867
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    Motorcycle
    '13 F800GT
    .
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	8 
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ID:	368745  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  36. #25868
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    Motorcycle
    '13 F800GT
    Golf course etiquette

    1. BACK STRAIGHT, KNEES BENT, FEET SHOULDER WIDTH APART.
    2. FORM A LOOSE GRIP.
    3. KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN!
    4. AVOID A QUICK BACK SWING.
    5. STAY OUT OF THE WATER.
    6. TRY NOT TO HIT ANYONE.
    7. IF YOU ARE TAKING TOO LONG, LET OTHERS GO AHEAD OF YOU
    8. DON'T STAND DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OTHERS.
    9. QUIET PLEASE...WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.
    10. DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.

    WELL DONE.. NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFF.
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  38. #25869
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '13 F800GT
    ,
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  40. #25870
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    ..
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  42. #25871
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '13 F800GT
    .
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	7 
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ID:	368773  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  44. #25872
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '13 F800GT
    ,
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	8 
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ID:	368775  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  46. #25873
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    .
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Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	9 
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ID:	368795  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  48. #25874
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    .
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	5 
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ID:	368811  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  50. #25875
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    .
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	9 
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ID:	368825  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  52. #25876
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '13 F800GT
    ,
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	9 
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ID:	368833  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  54. #25877
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '13 F800GT
    ,
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Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	9 
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ID:	368839  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  56. #25878
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    The worst joke ever
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	10 
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ID:	368873  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

  57. #25879
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '13 F800GT
    .
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	7 
Size:	29.5 KB 
ID:	368893  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  59. #25880
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '13 F800GT
    ,
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	8 
Size:	136.7 KB 
ID:	368899  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

  60. #25881
    WildWilly's Avatar
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    '13 F800GT
    .
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails Click image for larger version. 

Name:	image.jpg 
Views:	28 
Size:	81.0 KB 
ID:	368901  
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  62. #25882
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  65. #25884
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  67. #25885
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    My friend composes song about sewing machines.
    He's a Singer songwriter.
    Or sew it seams
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  69. #25886
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    If you think there wasn't rampant drug use in the 50s and 60s, the main character in a popular sitcom was named Beaver Cleaver
    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  71. #25887
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    A fast turtle.
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    Richard - Current bikes: 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2011 Royal Enfield Bullet 500 Classic, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2020 KTM 390 Duke, 2002 Yamaha FZ1 (FZS1000N) and a 1978 Honda Kick 'N Go Senior. 

  72. #25888
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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    More funnies.
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    Richard - Current bikes: 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2011 Royal Enfield Bullet 500 Classic, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2020 KTM 390 Duke, 2002 Yamaha FZ1 (FZS1000N) and a 1978 Honda Kick 'N Go Senior. 

  75. #25890
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  77. #25891
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    Elnathan - 2014 BMW F800GT
    IBA# 49894 True Rounder = 0-20's - Rounder -- to -- 100's+ Red Hot Rounder

    John 14:6 

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  79. #25892
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  81. #25893
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  83. #25894
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  85. #25895
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  87. #25896
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    Paula loved her cat more than anything so, one day, she was horrified to see the cat hadn't moved for over three hours. It just sit there staring at nothing. Not an ear flicked nor did the tail twitch. Picking up the cat and pointing it in a different direction also changed nothing. The cat just continued to stare straight ahead without moving. Picking up the cat, Paula took it to her Veterinarian and asked him what could be causing such a strange behavior. The vet checked out all of the vital signs, its eyes, ears and mouth. Nothing seemed wrong but just like when it had been at home, the cat continued to stare straight ahead at nothing. The Vet asked Paula, "Did you feed him anything different or give him anything different to drink?" Paula said, "Why, yes. Right before this happened, I gave him some seltzer water. I thought it would be good for him and make him happy." "Ah ha!" the Vet said. "Didn't you know? You should never give a catatonic?"
    Richard - Current bikes: 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2011 Royal Enfield Bullet 500 Classic, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2020 KTM 390 Duke, 2002 Yamaha FZ1 (FZS1000N) and a 1978 Honda Kick 'N Go Senior. 

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  89. #25897
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    Lucas replacement smoke.
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    Richard - Current bikes: 2016 BMW R1200RS, 2018 16.6 kWh Zero S, 2011 Royal Enfield Bullet 500 Classic, 2009 BMW F650GS, 2020 KTM 390 Duke, 2002 Yamaha FZ1 (FZS1000N) and a 1978 Honda Kick 'N Go Senior. 

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  91. #25898
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    Motorcycle
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    Motorcycle
    '07 F800ST
    That's BS. Being in the electrical industry, I know that once the smoke escapes from electrical equipment, there's no way it can be put back in to make it work again.
    As of Mon, 1st Feb 2016- ;
    Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery,
    Today is a gift (that's why it's called "the present")
    #1 tip I ride by: Ride as though you're invisible, not invincible
    Bikes so far: Honda CB250-Traded, Suzuki GS500F-Traded, '07 F800ST Matt Graphitan-Deceased, '10 F800ST Night Blue-sold, at present bikeless 

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  93. #25899
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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  95. #25900
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    2013 F800GT Graphite Metallic-Gone to a new home
    Not a 2nd childhood, still in the 1st 

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